According to an article from Serious Eats, below are some actual fortunes that elementary school kids wrote and stuffed into custom fortune cookies for a school fundraiser.
A big whale falls from the sky and squashed you until you’re pretty much dead. Not completely dead, but pretty much.
In five minutes, you will be attacked by a pear. It will eat you because you were going to eat it.
There’s a lake with a unicorn sitting in short grass. The unicorn will sleep; you will get dragged deep in the forest.
You are a donkey.
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